Ebook Download For Goodness Sex: Changing the Way We Talk to Teens About Sexuality, Values, and Health, by Al Vernacchio
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For Goodness Sex: Changing the Way We Talk to Teens About Sexuality, Values, and Health, by Al Vernacchio
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Review
“Vernacchio’s no-blame, no-shame approach will inspire parents to drop their fears, judgments, and inhibitions in order to help their kids navigate the teen years.” (Publishers Weekly)“For Goodness Sex is a breath of much-needed fresh air around a very charged subject. Bravo, Al Vernacchio!” (Christiane Northrup, M.D., ob/gyn physician and author of the New York Times bestsellers: Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom, and The Wisdom of Menopause)“Al Vernacchio has written a wonderful book that includes numerous model answers and a new way to think about adolescent sexuality -- as a force for good in life rather than simply a problem to be dealt with.” (Leslie M. Kantor, MPH, Vice President of Education, Planned Parenthood Federation of America)“At last a book that teaches parents how to talk to kids about sex in a way that is based healthily in reality and not fearfully in doom and gloom. I wish my parents had read this book!” (Lori Duron, author of Raising My Rainbow)“An engaging, much-needed new approach to teaching children about the human sexual experience.” (Kirkus Reviews)“Al Vernacchio has masterfully accomplished what good sexuality educators have attempted for so many years: he has created a work that is both a fun, easy read as well as a thorough and thoughtful guide.” (Don Dyson, PhD, Associate Dean, School of Human Service Professions and Director, Center for Human Sexuality Studies, Widener University)
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From the Back Cover
Let's talk about sex.We do it all the time, don't we? We talk about our sex lives with friends; we gossip about celebrity hookups; we watch reality dating shows. Yet when it comes to talking to our kids—many of whom are in sexually intimate relationships—we are strangely silent. But our kids are talking—and seeing and listening and learning—about sex every day. Unfortunately the messages they receive are often problematic: boys are studs, girls are sluts; real sex should be like porn; hookups are better than relationships. Your kids know more about sex than you think they do. But your kids don't know as much about sex as they think they do.To make matters worse, most sexuality education in schools is either abstinence-only or abstinence-based—and both models tend to leave young people ill equipped to make fully informed decisions. Sexuality educator Al Vernacchio, a high school teacher for more than twenty years, has been an advocate of a new category: sex-positive education.In For Goodness Sex, Vernacchio refutes the "disaster prevention" model of sex ed, offering instead a progressive and realistic approach. Without a broader understanding to offset the damaging perceptions of sex that pervade much of our culture, adolescents and teens are dangerously unprepared intellectually and emotionally to develop as sexual beings, let alone cope with today's world of sex via smartphone, cyberbullying, and the precipitous rise of high school and college sexual assault.For Goodness Sex offers the tools and information adults and young people need in order to have important conversations about sexuality and to develop healthy values and safe habits.
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Product details
Hardcover: 272 pages
Publisher: Harper Wave (September 16, 2014)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 9780062269515
ISBN-13: 978-0062269515
ASIN: 0062269518
Product Dimensions:
5.5 x 0.9 x 8.2 inches
Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.6 out of 5 stars
43 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#90,995 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
This book is really quite phenomenal, filling a much-needed niche in between the basic "birds and bees" discussion, and the point where you turn young adults out in the world to navigate everything themselves. This book is for parents who accept that their kids will have sex at some point, and want it to be a positive experience within responsible parameters, rather than something they undertake with information gleaned from friends and the internet (which both tend to offer huge amounts of misinformation along with any accurate info they may have). Even if you want your kids to wait until X point to have sex, this is a great book to read ahead of time, so you can have a bigger toolkit for knowing how to discuss particular topics with your teen. If you want to get a better sense of the author's approach to things, do an internet search for "Vernacchio TED Talk sex metaphor" and watch the video that comes up (it overlaps with one chapter of this book). The book is very "sex positive," meaning that he teaches that sex can be a good thing if approached responsibly, rather than being an uncomfortable or fear-based approach to sex.This is likely NOT a book you'll want to order and leave on your teen's bookshelf. It provides invaluable tools for framing concepts for your kids, but is written for parents, and he does offer his opinions on a wide range of topics, which you may or may not agree with or feel comfortable with (though he regularly says "if that doesn't feel right for you / match your values, then make a different choice"). I think most people I know will likely agree with only 60-95% of his individual opinions... BUT I think they'd benefit enormously from the book anyway because it gives you ideas on how to *frame* discussions with your kids in a way that's unmatched elsewhere. Vernacchio is very open in his approaches to gender, gender identity, sexual orientation, body types (with commentary on the way the media portrays both men and women), the fact that minors do have sex (7% by age 14, 13% by age 15, and 70% by age 19), though he discusses how to make decisions on whether the timing is really right for you, and the importance of waiting until you're ready, and that an absence of a "no" does not mean "yes." It's super respectful in his approach to, well, everyone. Although he's probably WAY more open about most topics than many of us will be, it's helpful to read and get ideas for angles that could be worth discussing with your own teen. He also covers things like "building healthy relationships: what is your bottom line?", internet safety, and the importance of parents monitoring and setting limits for their kids (though those will vary by family).This book is a must-read for every parent who wants their child to (eventually) have a positive and healthy sex life. Though if you're wanting a book that's a bit more basic ("birds and bees") and/or good to leave on a teen's bookshelf, I'd suggest "It's Perfectly Normal" by Robie Harris.
For Goodness Sex: Changing the Way We Talk to Teens about Sexuality, Values, and Health by Al Vernacchio invites parents, students, educators and everyone, really, into Vernacchio’s Sexuality and Society class in a private Quaker school near Philadelphia, PA. In Mr. V’s classroom, students are safe to sort out all of the negative and exploitive messages they’ve received about human sexuality and begin to build an accurate and positive image of themselves, which will in turn allow them to form healthy relationships and make responsible life choices. Vernacchio emphasizes sexuality as a force for good.The book is divided into eight chapters that include subjects such as healthy sex, creating a family philosophy, becoming your authentic self, gender myths, and the effect of social media and technology on teen relationships. In Chapter 1, Vernacchio explains, “We are whole people with bodies, brains, emotions and spirits. All of those things are part of our sexuality.†Each chapter ends with real teen questions from the “Question Box†Mr. V. keeps in the back of his classroom and Vernacchio’s example of how he would answer them.Perhaps his most important message is the one that he shared in his March 2012 TED talk which as of October 2014 has been viewed more than 1.2 million times. Vernacchio says we need to abandon our “baseball metaphor†for sex and adopt a more mutual, enjoyable metaphor like pizza. If you’re having any doubts about whether or not you will like this book, watch Vernacchio’s TED talk. If it speaks to you, there’s a good chance his book will, too.Overall, as a former high school teacher, former sex crimes prosecutor and current child forensic interviewer and adjunct professor of criminal sciences, I can’t say enough good things about Vernacchio’s message and how crucial it is for our society. The only place where I found content that concerned me was in one little section in Chapter 7 where he discusses the hymen. In Vernacchio’s defense, most physicians and nurses who do not specialize in sexual assault are still woefully undereducated when it comes to the female anatomy, and more likely to base their examinations and findings on hymenal myths than on the real facts about the hymen. I can only hope that this book sells out quickly and a new edition is released soon with updated and accurate medical information on what is perhaps the most misunderstood little membrane in the history of humanity.In a world that still talks about sex as running around the bases and sliding into home, Vernacchio steps up to the plate and hits a grand slam, driving home the intellectual, emotional and spiritual aspects of sexuality in the process.
This text is immensely helpful in locating ways in which to effectively speak with, and more importantly, listen to young people about what they're being taught through silence, their peers, the media, and from their folks at home. Anyone in the medical, health, media (music industry, films, TV, social networking) and education fields should read this book so that they can help young people develop healthy perspectives on sexuality and positive relationships. They've got to learn what's healthy so that they don't cause harm to themselves and others. This book isn't endorsing teens having sex; instead, it's about teaching them what they need to know in order to make healthy decisions and act accordingly.
Excellent book for advice on how to talk to teens about sex. Lots of good information that is relevant to the times. The author is a sex educator and the book gives you a good overview of the details of his high school course on sex education. Highly recommended. This is a great guide for parents. My 12 year old son enjoyed it too, and my 14 year old daughter is reading it now. Most of what he advocates in the book I believe we already as parents put into practice, and the book would be great for a conversation starter with your kids.
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